You’re at a networking event. You’ve talked to a few people. But those conversations only lasted a few minutes and were pointless. What are you doing wrong?
One thing you may or may not have realized is that entrepreneurs love to talk. More specifically, they love to talk about themselves. The more you get them to talk about themselves, the more they will like you. The more they like you, the more they will open up to you. The more they open up to you, the more you can develop a relationship and learn from them.
Get it? The longer you can get someone to talk to you, the more valuable that conversation will become. So, how do you get an entrepreneur to talk their heart out? Start by asking these 3 great questions. To accompany these questions, you can prove yourself as fascinating by incorporating these four ninja techniques.
Parrot
Use this technique when someone is telling you about their business and you run out of questions you want to ask them. Pick one word they used and just say it. 30 seconds later, if they don’t respond, say it again. This causes silence and elicits them to talk.
I’m not kidding. It works brilliantly, especially if you put a question mark at the end of it. You can get someone to talk for 30 minutes straight while saying less than 10 words. You can even make a game out of it.
Tip: Try to choose a noun.
Mirror
Much like the parrot, you’re going to repeat something they said. Except this time, pick a short phrase no longer than eight words. Pick it and say it. 30 seconds later, repeat.
This technique puts their statement into perspective. It allows them to reflect on what they said and they’ll dive deeper into what they were talking about.
Tip: Appear interested by smiling. But don’t laugh.
Paraphrase
This is the technique that most people have used. Basically, you’ll summarize a large block of information by putting it into your own words. This assures them that you’re interested and listening intently to what they have to say.
Paraphrasing is more interactive than the first two but requires a little more effort on your part.
Tip: You can direct the conversation by paraphrasing the information that you want to know more about.
Interchangeable Response
This is the most challenging technique. And the most fun! Repeat back exactly what they said and identify the emotional parts by inflecting your voice. It doesn’t matter what part of the statement you choose to emphasize as long as you inflect something.
This technique adds an emotional connection to the conversation. The other party will know you’re making an effort. However, you could sound like a condescending counselor. Use carefully.
Tip: Practice this one on your roommate/parent/spouse before using it on someone you meet for the first time.
Bonus Technique: Name Tossing
From my experiences, this is the most useful technique for establishing a relationship with someone. Right when you’re about to say something you want them to remember, Bradley, throw their name in the middle of the sentence.
This personalizes the comment and makes them feel special. Plus, if you haven’t used their name for a while, it’ll let them know that you’re planning on remembering their name.
Tip: Right before using this technique…take a pause and lower your voice to a whisper. It’ll be like you’re telling them a secret. Everyone loves secrets.
Recap
It’s important to get entrepreneurs to talk to you. But it’s more important to only use these techniques when you can benefit from a long conversation and a lasting relationship with that person. There’s nothing worse than wasting 30 minutes at a networking event talking to someone who you know you’ll never want to talk to again.
