Another year is in the books. I will assume that you did the best you could with what you had this year. For some it was amazing and others it may have been quite dreadful. Hopefully, we all look to turn every situation into a positive. So much has changed in the world and you being an entrepreneur it’s safe to assume much has changed in your life! With change, hopefully comes progress; progress that you can evaluate by taking a look at your goals of 2009 and checking what you have accomplished.

There are three words dealing with leadership that when used together, can lead to an enormous change in your effectiveness as a Leader. These three words are “Control, Connection and Challenge”.

These are words that are often thrown around when you hear people talking about leadership, but not many people address them in the way that I’d like to. I’d like to address these head on and explain the importance of them to you.

You’re at a networking event. You’ve talked to a few people. But those conversations only lasted a few minutes and were pointless. What are you doing wrong?

One thing you may or may not have realized is that entrepreneurs love to talk. More specifically, they love to talk about themselves. The more you get them to talk about themselves, the more they will like you. The more they like you, the more they will open up to you. The more they open up to you, the more you can develop a relationship and learn from them.

I have spent a lot of time over the past 3 years focused on my weaknesses. That led to a great deal of time spent reading many personal empowerment and business books. I actually get pretty pumped when I discover something in my life that I can improve upon. But while focusing on my weaknesses, I really lost sight to the gifts that I had. I was tiring myself out from the circles I was running trying to be an all-star at everything. There is a very powerful word in the Japanese language called “kaizen”, which means continuous incremental improvements.

We all remember when our parents reached their mid-life crisis. It was the time of career changes, sports car purchases, Rogaine, maybe all of the above. For Generation-Y, our crisis came a bit sooner in the form anxiety, doubt and uncertainty about our futures. For many of us college was a time where we lived day by day, shot by shot, without a clear understanding of what our future held. So once we finally received that rolled up piece of paper from some dude in a gown we were dazed and confused.

I was developing a bad habit. As soon as my eyes snapped open in the morning I would reach for my iPhone sitting on the bedside table and start reading through Tweets and emails and typing away. Rewind back three months ago and I had experienced a three-week whirlwind that culminated in leaving my job, selling my condo in Boston and moving to the Vermont countryside. Oh yeah, and getting married. My head was still spinning.

More often than not I hear young entrepreneurs claim they are a business owner. In my honest opinion, being an entrepreneur is just a state of mind. As soon as you make a decision and declare yourself one, then you are one. In the case of actually owning a business, there are defining characteristics to determine where you fall. For example, you own a graphic design company. You are incorporated, so technically you own a business. But, if you are doing all the work to make the business operational, do you still see it in the same light?

It was Henry Ford who said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Growing up in this competitive world, the majority of us were taught from a very young age that failure is bad and that we need to succeed in everything we do. Way too many people walk around this place thinking business is all cupcakes and candy canes. You may have been blindfolded to be thinking that failure is not an essential part of success and I’m here to set the record straight. I’ve started (and successfully failed) two companies already, and I might possibly have a third on the way. Am I to believe that I should just give up and that it was all for nothing, and should probably not do it ever again? NO! Failure is not bad. In fact, in my circumstances failure is a blessing and I’m going to tell you why.

It is quite important for a young entrepreneur to “act as if” they already are successful. Extremely important. It remains true that you must act wealthy before you become wealthy. You don’t become wealthy and then decide to form good habits. That’s just not how this game works. Literally, take a few seconds to think about that. You have to do the things successful people do to become successful. When I think about this concept, Ben Affleck rings in my head from the classic sales movie Boiler Room, “Act as if you are the *bleeping* President of this firm.”

I learned this the hard way, and that’s why I’m so inclined to share this mentality with others who come after me…or just want to catch up with me. I spent almost eight months being extremely tight-lipped about my “brilliant” idea. I couldn’t believe it wasn’t out there already, and I felt that everyone would jump on it if I let them in. Well, my scarcity mindset had me paralyzed with fear and growth and development of my company suffered severely.